Accident
by MidoriPanda
Summary: Practicing for a date with Rangiku leads to an unexpected result neither Shuuhei or Izuru wanted.


Summary: Practicing for a date with Rangiku leads to an unexpected result neither Shuuhei or Izuru wanted.  
Word count: 4638  
Rating: PG-13/T  
Pairings: ShuuKira, light ShuuRan, hinted GinRan.

Note: you'll find quotes from "Moulin Rouge" and "P.S.: I Love You" because the author likes cheesy romantic movies XD... and also one song form Avenue Q xD  
It was really fun to write this, the idea came while reading a 'kink&cliché' list on livejournal.

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**Accident**

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The 3rd division lieutenant stared in shock to what was in front of his eyes. He frowned trying to comprehend that impossible situation in which his best friends was asking for help so desperately, and still, poor Kira didn't find an answer.  
"You want me to what?" the blonde asked, leaving the book on its shelve, giving his back to the other lieutenant.

"Help me! I'm desperate! She finally agreed to go out on a date with me tonight and I don't know what to do!" He screamed in a high pitched tone that Kira had never hear him speak with. The blonde sighed, picking another book from the box he had on the desk and placing it on the shelve besides the one he had placed before in there. "I helped you when Hinamori did the same, please, Izuru! I never ask anything of you!"

"But… Shuuhei, why are you so nervous? You go on dates with women frequently, you don't have trouble flirting, for what they say, you must be a good kisser and a great lover so why worrying?"

"Because they're women, as you say! We're talking about Rangiku-san!"

"She's still a woman…" Izuru muttered, but his friend was about to rant out loud, so he didn't hear a word of Izuru's small complain.

"And she's not any woman, Izuru, she's THE woman! Those beautiful blue eyes, with those amazing lips and that cute, sexy mole on the cheek! Her hair is perfect and her body is just soooo gorgeous!" Hisagi grunted that last part with a tint of perversion on his voice that made Kira chuckle. "Any man would kill to date her!"

"Then, take care, you might as well get killed." Kira muttered again, but Hisagi ignored him once more.

"Please help me! I don't know what to do, or what to say, or where to take her, or… anything… I'm just an idiot, Izuru, please, please, and I promise I'll help you with anyone or anything you like in the future!"

"What do you want me to do?" Kira asked reluctantly, taking his friend's wrist and pushing him down on the sofa of his office. "Do you want me to go nearby so I can help you if things get ugly, or do you want me to invite a girl and go on a double date, do you want ideas, do you want to talk so you can calm down, do you want me to give you advice or something?" Izuru snapped, placing both hands on his friend's shoulders. "What do you want?"

"No… that's not it. I mean, I have a plan. I want to take her to a sake bar that's on Rukongai, on the second district, I'm friends of the owner, so… the place is not a problem. "

"I'm sure you don't intend it to end on that… what are you planning?" He asked, sitting on the tea table in front of the couch.

"Of course I'd like to take her home… talk… kiss… maybe getting laid, but that's getting really high hopes, don't you think?"

"It is, indeed, because we're talking about Rangiku-san… but I'm almost sure you can at least take her to your house, do some flirting and at least steal a kiss. Come on, it's you! You can get anyone you like if you use your magic!"

"Yeah, the problem is, my magic does not work with the people who REALLY know me…" Hisagi answered a bit ashamed, scratching the back of his neck.

"That means…" Izuru frowned as a gloomy aura fell over him when he realized how Hisagi used to hit on girls. "…you lie your heart out to them so you get some action, don't you?"

"At times…"

"Then, you can't flirt with Rangiku-san as usual because she does know when you're lying or not. I suppose this is where you need my help on how to get into her before she gets drunk."

"Exactly."

"Well… tell me, how can I help you?"

"Listen… I know you're going to kick me in the ass when I ask you this, but my three best friends are you, Abarai, and Rangiku-san. At least the ones I trust the most. But there's one problem, I can't ask Rangiku-san to help me on this, Renji would have laughed out loud the moment I entered through his door asking for help for such an irrelevant thing, so, you're the only one who can actually help me! Asides from that, out of the three, you're the one I'm more confident with, I can tell you everything, Izuru, so please…" Izuru placed a hand on Hisagi's lips concerned about what he was about to ask him.

"Just tell me." Izuru said, fixating his blue eyes over those dark grey ones that were driven mad out of emotion.

"Help me practice talking to her…" the brunette pleaded, taking Izuru's hand that was resting on his mouth on his.

Izuru stared blankly at him, in disbelief he was hearing such stupid ideas from the man who was one of the persons he admired the most.

"You're simply ridiculous." Kira stated, getting hold of Hisagi's hand squeezing it a little and then both let go of each other. Shuuhei believed Izuru was going to stand up and keep fixing his books on the bookcase, but he didn't move. "Fine, I'll help."

"Really?"

"Let's start before I change my mind. I don't like acting as a woman, so I'm just doing this because you're my best friend… well, you meet her in the place you're supposed to meet, you greet each other, blah, blah. What do you say afterwards?"

Shuuhei remained some seconds in silence with a hand on his chin, glancing down to his feet.

"She'll probably ask where are we going to go and I'll tell her I'd like to take her to an amazing sake bar on the 2° district."

"Don't use Shunpo, take the chance to take a long walk with her." Izuru said, smiling widely. "So, how've you been, Shuuhei? It's really hard seeing each other with so many paperwork and so little free time."

Shuuhei smiled pleased, and closed his eyes so he could do a better image training, though doing so with Izuru's voice was a little hard. Fortunately, his friend's voice was not as rough and husky as Renji's, or he'd be laughing his ass off if he were doing this kind of practice with the red haired Shinigami instead.

"Well, busy, Rangiku-san, as always… but yeah, I'm glad we finally have time to hang out together, just the two of us."

"I know… you usually prefer to be with Renji or Kira. Either way, I've been doing fine as well! Not as busy as you, my captain tends to do part of my work as ever."

"Heh, I miss those times when I could slack off as much as I wanted."

"But that's because your captain was a sweetheart! Mine is a little brat so full of himself that does not trust his lieutenant!"

Hisagi laughed out loud, opening his eyes, and shaking his head.

"That sounded more like something Izuru would say." Shuuhei said after some seconds, and closing his eyes once more.

"Heh, sorry." Kira said in a normal tone of voice, and then he coughed, and continued. "I know, it's just plainly funny how he gets all jealous over my captain because of Hinamori, don't you think?"

"Yeah, such a stupid crush he has, he should let go of her already and go look out for another girl."

He heard Kira laugh and then he proceeded.

"Yeah, he might as well… indeed, I heard him talk with Renji the other day, he might ask me out. I think I'll go, just for fun."

"Nah, he won't he's gay." Kira laughed and hit Hisagi's arm. "Rangiku-san, you, indeed, hit like a lady."

"I won't help you if you keep it up like this, and I AM going to ask her out." Kira said with his normal voice, and Hisagi laughed, shaking his head.

"I'm joking, I'm joking! And you know, if you were gay, that'd be ok!"

"Don't start… and don't remind me of that song!"

"Sorry, sorry, continue… dear lord, you're as whiny as always…"

"I was joking, Kira would never do that… hey, Shuu, you're making things so smoothly I think you're ready." Kira said, interrupting himself once again.

"Then, try something harder. Somewhere you know I can't lie, Izuru."

"Fine then… don't regret this later. And remember, keep pretending I'm Rangiku-san, don't stop."

Shuuhei nodded and the blonde smiled to himself, placing the palm of his hand on Shuuhei's eyelids to make hi close his eyes. Afterwards he moved himself besides the man and rested his head on his shoulder. He felt the sudden reaction on his friend's body when his muscles tensed and his body heat increased a little. Izuru's smile widened, Hisagi had buried himself in deep shit now.

"Shuuhei…" Izuru whispered directly onto the brunette's ear and tried to make his voice sound as feminine as he could, still trying not to hurt his pride so much. "Shuuhei, what is love to you?"

The older Shinigami gulped, passing one of his arms behind Kira's back and making him lean closer onto his chest.

"W-why the question?" Hisagi stuttered, and Kira hugged him, making him even more nervous. If someone walked on them it'd be extremely weird, but Kira didn't really mind as long as he could feel his former Senpai as nervous as he was. His inner self was cackling madly at his reactions, because he never expected the calm, cool, smooth and reserved lieutenant to be such an immature kid on the inside.

"Curiosity… and because woman tend to ask that when they get intimate, you should know it. Now, it's Rangiku-san who's asking, you can't lie…" He said that last sentence with his normal tone, trying to hold the laughter on. "Then.. what do you think?"

"Love… quite a hard question. If you were anyone else I'd say it's the moment your lips meet, you know the world as you used to know it has ended, and afterwards I'd have kissed you, but… well, you know my cheap tricks better than that, don't you?"

"Then tell me, what is it to you?"

"A kiss is merely a excuse. Love is when you meet the eyes of a person, and just with that you feel all your troubles vanish in front of you, the only thing you need to be happy is in front of you. Love… love is being with the people you care the most, protecting them with your body and soul. Loving someone is feeling you lack nothing, you need nothing, you are outmost happy while holding the body of that person. If you get the chance to kiss each other it's just to make your bond stronger, as strong so it can't be broken, ever… love… no matter how many words I search to describe how wonderful it is, I still can't find a proper answer to that question… what about you?"

Kira didn't know how to answer. Surely he had those kinds of conversations with Hisagi, but the man was now thinking of someone else, he was image training, and surely, of all the other times they had talked these kind of themes, Hisagi was not holding him that close, whispering love words directly onto his ear.

"Quoting a movie… 'The best thing you'll ever learn is to love, and be loved in return.'; I have no definition for it yet." Kira was no longer able to laugh at the situation, in fact, he was sweating cold. It seemed Hisagi had buried himself deeply, but he had brought the blonde down against his will. "Shuu… have you ever fallen in love?"

"I think I have."

"Really?" Izuru asked, knowing he'd not like the answer. "Would you tell me?" for this, Izuru hadn't noticed he had already stopped talking pretending to sound as feminine as possible a while ago, but Shuuhei did.

"You, of course." Hisagi answered, still with eyes closed, trying to uncover the reason of why Kira had suddenly changed in heart so much. "I love you."

He couldn't take it anymore. Fixing his position, he rose his head from Shuuhei's shoulder and grabbed both sides of his face. Shocked, the brunette opened his eyes only to find Kira's blue orbs digging onto his soul just for a second, because right afterwards Izuru dared to steal a kiss from his friend's lips. Strangely, Shuuhei screwed his eyes slowly and held the blonde's waist, pulling on him to bring him closer. Kira buried his fingers on Shuuhei's hair, nibbling slowly on the other's lower lip to be granted for access, and incredibly, Shuuhei parted his lips, letting the other's tongue inside to roam playfully. They kissed slowly for some more seconds, until Izuru not only felt he was running out of air, but also he felt the back of his head against the couch and Hisagi's weight lightly pressed against his body. Izuru let go of the other and placed both hands on Shuuhei's chest to push him away.

"Shuuhei!" He screamed, to bring the other back to earth, because he intended to keep going forcefully. "Shuuhei, sorry, I… I got carried away."

They couldn't glance at each other's eyes, it was just way too hard to even raise their sight from the ground.

"I'm sorry… but... that means if things go as smoothly as they went here… you can bet they'll go as goo with Rangiku! Well, I'm off, Kira, thanks a lot!"

Hisagi stood up from the sofa and walked out of the room, leaving a very confused lieutenant sitting alone where he left him. Being honest, the use of his last name hurt a little, now that they had promised to be as informal as possible with each other. Not only that, but meeting those surprised grey orbs, indeed, felt like the end of the world as he knew it. Indeed, that kiss felt like their bond had become unbreakable.

Izuru trailed a finger across his lips, still in disbelief he had just kissed his best friend out of nowhere. How stupid he was… had he actually felt such a great happiness just being held like that? Had he really felt jealous about Rangiku? He had, for sure and without a doubt, fallen in love just with that, for the worst person possible.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

He saw her from afar, and rushing towards her, the large breasted woman smiled widely, receiving him with a bone-crushing hug.

"Sorry to make you wait!" He excused himself. "I had a little trouble with time, I'm sorry." Shuuhei explained, fixing his clothes as fast as he could.

"Not only with time, darling, also your hair looks awful!" _Shoot, _Hisagi thought, running his fingers against his hair to fix it as well. _That idiot pulled me from there, I've forgotten…_ "Are you alright, Shuuhei?"

"Yeah, sure, sorry, sorry… how've you been? It's been a long time since we hanged out!"

"It's actually the first time we go out somewhere, only the two of us… aren't you exited?"

"Sure, sure!" Shuuhei said, exited.

"So, where are we going? I suppose you have a plan already!"

"Yeah, I actually do! There's a bar on the second district, I was wondering…"

"Oh! I've been there with Nanao and Nemu! It's really nice!"

"I'm friends with the owner, so… we can get ourselves more amount of sake than normal and a private room…" Shuuhei said, rising one eyebrow and elbowing the woman slightly.

"Oh you sly dog! Don't think you're going to get on my hakama that easily!"

"Of course not, who do you think I am? I'm a gentleman, just so you know!"

"Sure… how many times has the world as you know it changed already, Shuuhei?"

The Shinigami didn't answer, he just stood on his place for a while, and when he snapped out of his trance, he noticed Matsumoto was about to use Shunpo some meters away from where he was.

"Hey, Shuuhei, are you coming or not?" the woman asked, turning around and grabbing his arm. "You sure you're fine? It's not usual for you to drift away like this!"

"Yeah… I'm sorry."

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"My lord, if this is how you treat your dates out to dinner, I now know why you're still single." Matsumoto complained, as Shuuhei placed both arms on the table and his face over his hands. "What's with you? Spending too much time with Kira made you like this?"

"What?" Shuuhei snapped at the mention of his friend's name, glancing with surprise and horror at his date as if Rangiku had guessed they had kissed before.

"Yeah, you know, gloomy and pessimist…" the woman noted the sudden change once Izuru's name was brought onto conversation, so she raised an eyebrow and drank from the bottle of sake directly.

"Ah, that… no, no, don't matter."

"Something happened to you. You and Kira had a discussion, or something?"

"N-no, he…"

"What happened?"

"Rangiku-san…" Shuuhei said, trying to aboard the theme from other side. "… may I ask you a question?"

"Don't try to brush off the problem, tell me."

"I'm not doing it… can I ask?" He had his arms flexed and his chin over them, looking at Rangiku with such sad eyes that she thought they might indeed have had a strong fight it was affecting Shuuhei so much.

"S-sure."

"What is love to you?"

"What does it…? Oh, dear… something DID happen!" Matsumoto screamed, clapping her palms once, trying hard to deduce what really happened.

"Can you answer me?"

"Love… is being with the person you care the most and watch the universe around you vanish, and giving no shit about it. It also is… at least for me, the source of all my sadness, and the origin of all my happiness."

"So it's pain and pleasure at the same time to you, isn't it?"

"For me it is, since the only one I've ever loved is no longer here." _Ooohhh, damn that silver fox-face… _"What is it to you, Shuuhei?"

"I don't know any longer."

"What happened to you? Your world did end as you knew it, didn't it? Just… when?"

"When I least expected it." He placed one elbow on the table and his cheek on his knuckles, then he glanced at her as deeply as he could, examining her from tip to toe. "I really like you, Rangiku-san. I know you always knew it. But…"

"You didn't knew what you really felt, don't you? You thought you were in love with me."

Shuuhei smiled, and then he sighted, nodding in defeat. "I should have known better."

"What made you give second thoughts? What did Kira do?"

"Why do you think it involves Izuru?"

"Because just now, you shivered at the mention of his name. and your eyes sparkle incredibly when you think of him. It seems you emanate some kind of new light. I know you far better than you think, that's what best friends are for, ain't we?"

"Sure thing."

Matsumoto leaned closer, inspecting Shuuhei's face with outmost care, almost climbing up onto the table. She slowly placed both hands on both of his cheeks and placed a quick kiss on his lips, catching him by surprise. Shuuhei immediately pushed her away as lightly as he could.

"What was that just…?"

"Izuru kissed you."

"How did…? why…? How…?"

"Shut up and listen…" She said, placing a finger on his lips calmly. "The other day I was having a really interesting talk with Nemu, Isane-san and Unohana-taichou about physical reaction to psychological stimulation and vice versa… just now you had ALL the reactions possible at the same time…"

"Sorry, I'm not following you…"

"Ah, really, men are hopeless these days… eyes wide open, muscular tension on the upper part of your body, stiff shoulders, move less arms, blushing at the moment our eyes meet and I touch your cheek, and the immediate rejection of the action that's creating the stimulation because it brings you memories. I mean, you like me, you yourself said it, so kissing me is not repulsive. It's not as if I were my captain or something. And since I already knew you and Izuru had something between you I could only assume the answer: Izuru kissed you, you somewhat liked it but now you're having regrets and you're stuck on a date with the wrong person, darling."

Shuuhei stared at her with amazement, trying to blink several times to digest the information with really poor results. The only thing he knew was his little secret was uncovered: Rangiku knew, and by tomorrow's morning everyone else in soul society as well, that the two lieutenants had kissed.

"I don't know what to do anymore."

"Shuuhei, did you look at him in the eyes when he kissed you?"

"Some seconds before he kissed me, he had grabbed my face as you did, and I opened my eyes in shock, I had them closed before… I met his just for a second."

"In that second, what did you saw on those eyes?" Matsumoto asked, with a large smile on the face.

"I don't know… It felt weird, like I was… glancing at the deepest part of an ocean. Like I was sinking."

"You felt scared?"

"Yeah, but I think it was mostly because he was really close and he didn't give me time to react before he kissed me."

"So, his eyes don't scare you?" Hisagi shook his head, and Matsumoto patted the other Shingami's hair tenderly. "Unfortunately you might be falling for those eyes… and those lips as well, darling."

Hisagi grunted, glancing down onto the ground. Perfect! His practice with Kira had ruined the entire plan in the most ridiculous way, and yet, he didn't regret it. He felt so confused, so weird; in all his years he had never liked a guy. He had spent so many hours with Kira, and yet he had never imagined himself falling into this kind of situation with him, ever!

"Maybe that's it…" Shuuhei muttered to himself, but the woman listened.

"What's it, love?"

"Maybe it was just all the time I spent with Izuru what made it feel so natural and right, I mean… we've done almost everything together for the past 70 years and… it was just what we were missing, giving the next step."

"So…?"

"I might give it a try, I mean… it's not like he didn't like it, as well, and… I don't really mind what people think of us, no matter if it's frowned."

"Right then!" Matsumoto's comprehensive mood changed radically, clapping her hands once again. "Don't you wanna finish this date with someone else, Shuuhei?"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

There was one knock at the door. Izuru sighed pested, as the person outside knocked again. The only person he really wanted to see and talk to just to fix things up was still on his date, and knowing how Shuuhei was, it was possible he'd change the conversation whenever Izuru wanted to speak about it. It'd probably be Renji, and he'd notice, indeed, there was something wrong with him, but there was no way he'd ever tell Renji he had noticed how much he liked Hisagi because he discovered Shuuhei was actually a really great kisser! Of course, it could also be Hinamori, but then again, even if he was much more carefree and surely could be honest with her, there was still the matter that, liking Hisagi or not, he had that tremendous crush on Momo.  
Oh, how surprised he was when he opened the door and there was his former Senpai, standing on his front door with a large bouquet of marigolds.

"I'm sorry." Were the first words Shuuhei whispered onto his ears after hugging him. "It was awful from my part to leave without talking about all this before."

"But… what happened to your date?"

"Rangiku-san saw there was something wrong. In the end, she helped me find out it was because this all happened so fast, I bet neither you expected a response from me, to begin with."

"Not really." Izuru said, smiling to himself and embracing Shuuhei, closing the door as he dragged the brunette onto his house.

"It's as new to me as it is for you." Hisagi said calmly, resting his nose bridge on Izuru's neck. "God, I love your smell…"

Kira shivered as he felt the warm breath on the other Shinigami tickling on his skin. The blonde dug his fingers on Shuuhei's raven hair, caressing him softly as they stood on the spot they had been for some minutes, just like that, hugging, with no kissing, no words, just the company of each other, closer than ever.

"Shuuhei…" Izuru muttered, making the brunette look up. Kira took the bouquet on his hands and placed the flowers on the closest table he had nearby, without letting go of his friend. They stood, once more, in silence, but this time, Shuuhei was looking directly onto his eyes, while embracing him by the waist. Izuru's hands slowly trailed over his shoulders a line that ended directly on his face, just like he had grabbed hold of Shuuhei some hours ago. Without saying anything, Izuru locked his lips over Shuuhei's, nibbling slightly, but this time, as he was ready, the older Shinigami took the lead and with one hand pulled from Izuru's chin to make him open his mouth, granting access to Hisagi's tongue. When he least noticed, Shuuhei had already pinned him to the wall, and was kissing his neck and earlobe with eagerness.

"Shuuhei… you're going a bit fast… oh, damn…" Izuru muttered as he felt the brunette's teeth nibble slightly on the 'vampire spot'.

The brunette immediately noticed he had got carried away and stopped, separating his lips from Izuru's skin. The blonde was panting slightly, with a large blush spreading on his cheeks.

"You liked it anyway."

"Of course, but… you didn't even had a date and you're already jumping into action…"

"Well… I'd say if you'd like to go out on dinner, but… I think tea for two is more than enough to spend a little time together inside your house, isn't it?"

Izuru smiled, taking Shuuhei's hand and leading him towards the kitchen.

"You already got the kiss, the talk, you're about to have the drinks… be a good boy, you might score on the first date."

Shuuhei laughed, hugging his friend from behind and burying his face once more on the crook of Izuru's neck, letting the smell of cinnamon mix with Izuru's, which lingered of vanilla a bit. He breathed deeply, enjoying the delicious fusion of scents. He couldn't ask for anything more perfect than this.


End file.
